Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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