He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
