Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I could fuck to npr.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
