He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
