Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My pussy is not your playground.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize