what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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