Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
