you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
