I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize