i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize