dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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