ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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