after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
