Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
