Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize