I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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