dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
