guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
it's like iHOP with fire
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
