My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize