Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
