And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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