The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
