i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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