were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
