this beer tastes like vomit already
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
