i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
