if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
