You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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