where am i from again
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize