oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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