I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
