i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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