in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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