they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
