Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
