I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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