We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
