You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
