Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize