You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
