I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
