Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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