so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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