I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
