I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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