i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Is that strawberry winking at me??
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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