I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
