there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
