just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The air taste purple.
Randomize