I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
