I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
