i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
