do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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