My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
