walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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