no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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