I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
