Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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