Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
