In the future we'll all be gay
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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