you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
