To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I smell stomach acid.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
